A journey towards greater faith and creativity

Archive for October, 2014

Cold and Dark

It’s the end of October, which here can mean snow, although I haven’t seen any yet, and below freezing temperatures. So far we’ve had rain and a few frosts, but all the pretty coloured leaves have fallen and it looks pretty grey out most of the time. We’re also coming up on the winter solstice and the hours of dark far outnumber the hours of daylight. Worse, rainclouds keep it dark even during the day. Bottom line, where I live, it’s cold and dark almost constantly right now.

I’m feeling it right down deep.  As if the cold and dark have crept inside me. I can’t seem to get warm. I feel like I can’t see anything of what’s ahead. Not sure I’m even really seeing what’s around me right now. Accomplishing anything, including this post, is a struggle and there’s a whole long list of things I feel called to do which I also feel like I just can’t deal with right now.

All the positive affirmations sound hollow… just so many words. Knowing in my head that “this too shall pass” isn’t helping right now. I’m just not feeling it.


It seems God is telling me loud and clear, through a number of sources, it’s time to release a whole lot of old baggage so I have space for the new things He is bringing into my life. Now if only it were as easily done as said. (Or written.)

I admit I’m a pack rat. I hang onto things, just in case they might be useful in the future or because I’ve attached sentimental value to them. I hang onto the past, even when it only serves to block my present and future. I hang onto people and relationships, even when they’ve grown limiting and unhealthy. And I really don’t like to let go.

But letting go of what’s unhealthy and unnecessary is exactly what God is calling me to do. He assures me He will provide everything I need, when I need it. I need only trust in His perfect timing.

I know I have trust issues. I find it hard to stand on faith, never mind step forward in it. Still, I know God will be with me every step of the way. He’ll guide me through this. All I have to do is allow Him to.


Speaking of release, I currently have a short story available for here for free until tomorrow when the next one goes up. You can find the other free short stories by scrolling to the bottom of the page and clicking on the cover pictures.


Confession 11


Big Leap

In my very first post on this blog I mentioned my work and my dream of one day running my own business. I don’t think I’ve said much about either since. That said, I’ve been doing some wrestling and planning and thinking on the subject behind the scenes of what I have blogged about in the last eight months.

But, on September thirtieth of this year, I quit my position with the publishing company I was working for. This is something which had been in the back of my mind for a while, while I worked through other things. There are a number of reasons, but the bottom line is I’m feeling God calling me on to other things which are going to take more energy and concentration than I could spare while dealing with my former partners.

My original plan for my own business revolved around my sewing/crafting/custom design and I still intend to do a certain amount of those as part of what I’m moving into now. Also part of the original plan was to maybe sell a few books on the side since I have no intention of giving up my writing.

Apparently what I was sort of considering in my head and what God wants from me are two very different things. Since I’m doing my best to follow the path God has placed my feet on, I’m going to give the vision He has given me my best shot. If this is really His plan, He will see it through.

And so, Howling Wolf Books (And More).

The primary aspect is the writing and publishing. The secondary aspect (the And More) is one of a kind and custom items, some of which will be based on/related to the books and characters.

Right now I have a Facebook page and Smashwords (ebooks) account, but I am aiming to have my full website up and running before Christmas this year. The business officially launches in January with the release of the first novel.

In the meantime I’m releasing one short story a week in ebook form. Each of these will be free for the first two weeks, after which a price will be added. The first one was released last week and can be found here. The second will be up tomorrow.

All together, if feels like a whole lot, but I’m trying to take it one step at a time.


Confession 10