The winter solstice is coming. The hours of daylight are getting very much shorter, especially this far north. Add to it that the sky is overcast and dumping down snow on us so what daylight we do get is grey. It feels dark all the time.
I don’t want to go anywhere. Can I hibernate until there’s more light again? Until the sun comes back to really warm things up?
The December holiday season is coming far too fast. Things are happening far too early. All the lights and festive colours and cheery music. It makes me want to hide away until it goes away. It’s an affront to the dark. Too stark a contrast.
I don’t have a problem with a few traditions to mark the celebration of the birth of Christ. I’m most grateful God sent His son to be born on Earth for us. My problem is all the expensive, flashy, commercial crap which has gotten attached and overshadowed anything meaningful about the season.
I think I’d rather hide here in the dark.
It seems my usually questionable sense of time has gone completely out the window this week. I’m still wondering where the week went and only now, late on Friday, did I realize I’d forgotten to publish a post yesterday. I meant to, if it had even crossed my mind yesterday. (It didn’t.)
I think I know why my brain is so fried.
One: Five hundred and eighty-eight pages (formatted for print ) is a lot of editing. Don’t ask me for a word count on that sucker. I’ve never bothered. I also have it on good authority it could’ve been longer. What surprises me is other people have or sincerely mean to read the entire thing. (It’s by Alexandra A. Cheshire.)
Two: The basement which has been near to giving me anxiety issues is finally cleaned up (mostly) and organized so I can find things and it doesn’t look as intimidating as it did. Also my husband has restored access to his Magic the Gathering card collection.
Three: I got my domain name, howlingwolfbooks.ca, properly attached to my business website. It only took several days and high levels of frustration. I am not even remotely a web designer or tech of any kind. This feels near miraculous to me.
Now to working on the books which are slated to be released for sale over the next year. I already have my husband’s birthday gift, although the trip to the mall left me utterly exhausted. I think I’m good for the moment.
In the middle of a forest there is a small fire in a ring of stones encircled by stumps and pieces of log. It’s a welcoming place after the cold and dark of being in the trees. More welcoming is God, seated on a section of log, inviting me to sit awhile and rest. Offering me a refuge from the cold and dark and confusion of my life right now. The fire is warm and I can curl up. There’s nothing I need to do. Nothing which needs to be said. All I have to do is accept the invitation to rest, relax, and recuperate for the next venture into the trees.