Not something I’ve ever been good at, although I’ve gotten somewhat better in recent years.
Overwhelm, confusion, discombobulation
These things I know far too well and I know they serve to make life and decision making harder instead of easier. They sap my energy and cause me to throw my hands up in the air and try to quit.
Because in the overwhelm and confusion and all the crap those dredge up (fear, doubt, struggle) it’s hard to know what to do. I find too many decisions made under these conditions don’t turn out well. Because when I feel like I’m drowning in all this, I start looking for answers externally. And there are all kinds of answers thrown out there. Everyone has a solution to my problems. The problem is, those are their solutions.
It’s in the Stillness
Because when I grow still, when I seek quiet reflection time, I’m reminded that the answers I seek, the solutions I need, aren’t out there at all. All those external solutions aren’t for me. The answers to all the most important questions are inside and it’s only in the Stillness I have the ability to hear them clearly.
Be Still and Know
Sit and breathe and look inside. Sit and breathe and ask all the questions. Sit and breathe and Know the answers aren’t out in the world at all. They’re right there, inside you, waiting for you to stop and sit and breathe and ask.
This is where you learn what’s True for you.
This is where you will find all the Love you could ever need.
This is where you Know what you need to move forward.
And it will be scary and hard and you will want to quit and you won’t want to see or hear or feel. And you will be strongly tempted to give in to all the distractions around you. And then, if you remain still, it will get easier and life will flow far better. The flows will carry you higher and farther. The ebbs won’t freak you out as badly. And all the things you desperately long for will seem less impossible… maybe even feel more real, more achievable.
And you will find it easier to Be Still.
And all those external solutions which aren’t really for you anyway won’t seem nearly so appealing.
It’s just past the middle of August and it’s already feeling like autumn here. There are even yellow leaves all over the ground. Bonus, it’s nice and cool at night.
This is a pleasant change from too hot, too dry, and thoroughly smoked. That’s what most of the summer here has been like, especially in the wake of the wildfires still plaguing my home province. There are still people out of their homes and out of work. Still people who need places to stay. Undoubtedly many of them wondering how they will manage the transition to back to school when they’re so far from home and may not have a home to return to.
It’s weird to go online, especially on Facebook, and see people posting first day of school pictures already. It isn’t anywhere near September yet. The first official day of school here is September sixth. Children here get a bit over two months break. I don’t understand what anyone thinks there is to gain by shortening that time.
My daughter is back home after three weeks (ish) with her grandparents. I still have nearly three weeks (maybe more depending what I hear from her school) before she needs to be ready to go back to school. In the meantime, she’s already started one of her extracurricular classes and should be registered for the other next week.
Writing isn’t really the hardest part of what I do. I’ve been writing since the primary grades. While writer’s block is very real (despite the claims of those who have obviously never had to deal with it), I’m having less trouble with it than I used to. Nanowrimo and Camp Nanowrimo are wonderful tools for helping me finish manuscripts, although I have finished novels without them. In a good year, I can complete four or more first drafts. (I think I’m at three so far this year, with five months and Nanowrimo to go.)
Editing and rewriting don’t really bother me. Provided I’ve let the first draft sit for a few months/years. I absolutely cannot finish a first draft and then immediately dive into revision work. I will HATE the piece by the end of the second draft (no matter how good/bad it actually is) and never really be happy with the end result. This is also the stage where it would be helpful to have different/more beta readers.
Publishing prep can be kind of fun, depending what I’m doing. Certainly the formatting and proofing stages, with all the little steps to producing a professional looking product are something I enjoy. It helps that I have a checklist which is essentially the same no matter what’s in the works. Although cover design can be frustrating and I too often fall back on Createspace’s extremely limited library of stock images. There’s a joy in getting the cover looking good along with all the inside stuff.
The real hard part is the marketing. The appealing to people to read the published work. The trying to convince them to post ratings and reviews of what they read. I wish I could afford to pay someone to do all that stuff for me. I find it energy sucking… energy I would much prefer to put into any of the three steps listed above.