That I communicate better in writing than in person speech.
That God’s grace is larger than any problem I could ever face in this world.
That God keeps His promises, whether or not they take the form I’d like to expect.
That God promises to provide all my needs, large and small.
That nothing in this world is forever, no matter how much I wish it could be.
That God’s truth is no less true for me wishing it weren’t.
That nothing is impossible for God.
That God knows I’m only human and will always meet me where I am.
That Jesus can forgive and heal any hurt, no matter how painful or large it seems at the time.
That no matter what I forget or how often, God will never turn his back on me.
For as long as I can remember, my parents have had a plaque on the wall which reads “The Will of God will never lead you where the Grace of God cannot keep you.” It’s taken me my whole life up until recently to truly understand what the words mean.
Now I’m at a point where I can’t keep living a life where nothing is working for me. Where I’m constantly ill and tired and forced into whichever mould someone else would see me fit. I can’t do it anymore.
Jesus says I don’t have to.
I can accept the forgiveness, salvation, and healing He offers. From there, I can set out fresh, on a path God is laying out at my feet. A path along which I can trust Him to provide all I need. A path along which I will be able to use my unique, God given gifts to his greater glory.
God made me uniquely me. He gave me gifts, talents, abilities… whatever you want to call them. It only makes sense He would want me to live as me and no one else. He would want me to use the gifts He’s given me. That’s what I intend to do, to the best of my ability, from here on out.
I find it disturbing, just how many religions operate based on fear of hell and/or the devil. They provide long lists of laws and rules which must be followed. Long lists of things to avoid as being evil or of the devil. Fail to toe the line, fail to ‘fess up’ to the slightest mistake, and go straight to hell. Some are quicker to punish than others, but fear runs high and stuffs all else into some dusty forgotten corner.
But what if… God really is Love, first and foremost, above and beyond anything else?
And what if… when Jesus died on the cross, all the old laws and rules were tossed out the window?
What if only two rules even exist now: 1) Love 2) The ‘Do unto others…’ golden rule?
No matter how broken I feel – I am made Whole in Jesus.
No matter how lost and alone I feel – I am Loved.
No matter what I think my mirror reflects back at me – I am Beautiful.
No matter how impossible the situation may feel – God makes anything possible.
Some things take infinitely more grace than others. I find this is one of them. Fortunately Jesus has infinite grace and forgiveness for me. I just have to learn to extend those to the past. To forgive the people I’d much rather blame. To accept that nothing can change any of what was done or said. It was what it was. I have to forgive. And then move on.
This was brought home to me fairly clearly a few weeks ago and I know I’ve been struggling with it since. My tendency is to dwell in the past. To wish in vain for a way to go back and change what happened. I know it isn’t possible. What I’m learning also isn’t possible is to move forward while stuck on past hurts.
I desperately want to move forward. I’m longing to see what God has in store for me. For my future, my work, my family. I’m frustrated by the messages of ‘have patience’ and ‘let go’ I keep receiving when I so much want to get to what is coming. This lesson in forgiveness and letting go, in patience and growth… I feel like I’m living in a space in between. In between a past I’m having trouble forgiving and releasing and a future which isn’t coming as fast as I want. In between my old life of being sick and stuck and the new life I know God has planned for me.
On WordPress, starting a blog, by faith and a whole lot of grace. Because without those two, I wouldn’t have even considered doing something like this. So, here I go.
I’m Sarah. I’m a wife. I’m a mother. I dabble in custom sewing, crafts and jewelry, which I’m hoping to eventually turn into a web based business. I do a bit of writing and a lot of editing and formatting for other people via a publishing start up I’m supposedly a partner in. The supposedly part of that is a very long story which may or may not turn up as a separate post.
Most importantly, I’m a child of God.
Not that long ago, I wouldn’t have considered saying that even to myself. And there are a lot of people in my life currently who wouldn’t believe it. Who may never believe it because my path to God hasn’t been the proscribed one I was taught growing up. And because even now the ways I choose to live out my faith aren’t necessarily what they think faith in God should look like.
But it’s my path, my journey, my faith and, in the end, my salvation.
I can’t dictate anyone else’s path. I don’t want to. It’s all I can do to follow my own. Still, it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. And if any of this resonates with you, I want you to know you’re not alone either.