Sometimes I wonder why I keep paying for the domain name attached to this blog when I so rarely post anything. It never auto renews properly and can be a bit of a hassle. But I like having the simpler name than what would be the WordPress default. It’s easier to remember and share elsewhere. And I do still post, when I feel like I have something I can share.
The last couple weeks have just been… well, life ebbing.
Why did it have to be the driver’s side windshield wiper that quit? Especially in the middle of a northern BC winter. Well, hopefully it will get fixed today, if things go even sort of right. As much as I hate the deep freeze (we saw -42C with wind chill this year), the cold and clear has meant the windshield stays clear without the wipers.
The subpoena for Valentine’s day. I knew it was coming. I know why, when the trial is, what it’s all for. I also know there’s a publication ban for protection of the victim. It’s always for the protection of the victim and I’m fine with that. But that’s almost the only thing I got for Valentine’s day this year. Why couldn’t they have waited twenty-four hours?
My birthday. Ugh.
It isn’t that I’m getting older. I’m fine with that. It’s the two week or more annual pre-birthday funk. And the not knowing what I want to do for it. And the feeling like nobody else cares. Also the tendency of certain people to forget when they can manage to remember other family birthdays. Most years I would happily skip most of February to avoid all this.
And then this borrowed laptop not wanting to work properly when I still need it for another couple weeks. I know it’s old. And I know it won’t even consider running the OS I would prefer. I don’t care if it quits once it goes back to its owner. I’m not sure he cares either because he’s knows it’s old. But just for another week or two. Just until I can replace my old one that quit.
Blessings mixed with ebbings, because that’s the way this life goes. I guess the trick is to keep watch for the blessings.
Happy Birthday to my sister, B. Heather Mantler
Sometimes all you can do is Breathe
I don’t remember exactly what I was looking at when this popped into my head. I’m fairly sure I was online, reading something someone had posted about their life going to pieces and being unsure what to do next. The specifics of the situation escape me, especially given how much of this kind of stuff I see daily.
Because lives fall apart all the time. Things, big or small, are lost. Plans fall through. What appeared to be a sure bet turns out to be anything but. I know I’m not the only one who feels like there is always “another shoe.”
And it’s all largely out of our control. Yes, some of these things trace, at least partially, back to the choices we’ve made. We can make the best choices we know how and life will still happen.
It’s all too tempting, when life sucks, to complain and blame and look for an external source to fix it all for us. But none of those things have any power to change what happened. They also have no power whatsoever to improve our future prospects. What they’re really good for is keeping us stuck.
What really needs to happen next is we need to breathe. Sometimes it’s all we can do.
One breath at a time
One step at a time
One day at a time