It happens sometimes. Especially after a long, full week like I just had. Everything else gets in the way and I end up feeling disconnected. Out of synch with God and myself.
I find it a frustrating feeling. Nothing goes quite right and I fall back into old bad habits. When I do attempt to reach out, to reconnect, it’s hard and sometimes comes with a sense of nothing being out there. I know God is there because He is always there. But there’s a world of difference between what I know in my head and what I feel in my heart.
Thankfully my current circumstances allow me one ‘day off’ each week. One day when I don’t have to care for my daughter. One day when I can be alone to recharge and prepare myself for the next stretch of life. One day when I can take all the time I need to re-center myself and dig as deep as necessary to reconnect.
It never fails to amaze me, the difference it makes in my patience and ability to cope, to have even just a few hours when the only person I have to look after is myself. When I can take the time to only do things that make me feel better. Because when I feel better, when I feel reconnected and back in synch, it’s so much easier to work with and around everything else in my life.