I got my very own cell phone today. For me, this is big news. It’s the first time I’ve had one which is specifically mine. I’m slowly figuring out things on it. Probably helps to have played around with my husband’s phone.
Speaking of whom, we’re working on piecing our marriage back together… seeing if we can resolve or move past the issues which caused our separation earlier this year. I think we’re making progress, but some days it’s hard to tell.
Feels like God doesn’t believe in straight paths. Well, I guess He promises to make our paths straight, but it sure doesn’t feel like it when actually living this stuff out. Or maybe there’s still more I can’t see yet. Wouldn’t surprise me.
And my one remaining grandmother turns 80 years young this weekend, so I’m making a flying trip down for her birthday celebration. One day of party and family and family friends sandwiched between two eight to nine hour drives.
I think I’m going to need a vacation to recover from the last six or eight weeks. I’m just not sure when I’ll get even a short break. There’s still a lot which needs to happen or be worked out before I feel like I’m settled into a real home again.
God will provide. Of this I’m certain.
Mostly because I’ve been uncertain what to write. So many things going on. None of them quite what I’ve been hoping for. And also a feeling like I’ve been living in some kind of holding pattern. I feel stuck and I have no idea how to break out of the rut I’ve found myself in.
And too, I’m finding I’ve wandered far away from my original intention for this blog. Since I really don’t remember what I was thinking at the time, I kinda have to go back to the tagline. So unless everything goes sideways yet again, the next few posts will be a combination of how I got to where I am now and what’s been going on recently.
There’s this cycle I’ve been going through in recent months. And I think, just maybe, I’m not alone in this feeling.
There’s a lesson learned, a feeling of increased connection to God, to Jesus, to my purpose in life.
And then there’s a waiting room. A space of feeling disconnected once again. Of wondering what’s next. Of wondering if I’d only imagined what I felt, the lesson learned, the connection.
A space of having to trust and hold my faith even tighter because otherwise I feel like I’m falling again.
I’m waiting for the next reminder. The next lesson. The next… anything which deepens my connection to God and what it is He is calling me to do with my life.